How to give a best man toast, with example toasts

Toast or speech: what is the difference?

In the UK, the best man gives a speech, and the toast is the final line where everyone raises a glass. In the US, the whole thing is usually called the best man toast, even when it includes stories. Either way, the shape is the same: a few minutes about the groom and the couple, then a clear invitation to drink to them.

A standalone toast, without much speech before it, usually runs about one to two minutes. A full speech with a toast at the end runs three to five minutes. See how long a best man speech should be.

The four line toast formula

1. Turn to the couple. Look at them, not at your cards.
2. One sincere line. A wish, a hope or a simple truth about them.
3. The instruction. "Please join me in raising a glass", with whatever people are drinking. Ask guests to stand only if the couple want that tradition.
4. The names. "To Tom and Priya." Say them clearly and pause before you drink.

Original example toasts

All of these are written for this guide. Change the names and the details to fit your couple.

Simple and classic

"Would you all please join me in raising a glass. To Jack and Amira, and to a long and happy marriage."

Warm

"Jack, you've always been the friend who turns up. Amira, you're the person he wants to turn up for. Please raise your glasses. To Jack and Amira."

With a callback to your story

"So, to the man who still hasn't finished that marathon, and the woman who'll be waiting at the finish line anyway. Please raise your glasses. To Ben and Zoe."

Short and funny

"I'll keep this brief, because the bar is open and Callum has been staring at it for ten minutes. Please raise your glasses. To Callum and Megan."

For two grooms or two brides

"It's been a joy to watch these two become a team. Please join me in raising a glass. To Adam and Luis."

When you are a brother

"Welcome to the family, Rosie. We're louder than you were told. Everyone, please raise your glasses. To Rosie and Ed."

Practical things nobody tells you

• Check the glasses. Make sure guests have something in their glass before you start the toast. At many UK weddings, fizz is poured for the speeches. If not, a word with the venue staff beforehand helps.
• Have your own glass. Keep it within reach, not on the other side of the table.
• Standing is optional. Some couples like the traditional "please stand". Otherwise, "please join me in raising a glass" works for everyone, seated or standing, with any drink.
• The couple traditionally stay seated. By tradition they do not drink to themselves and just smile and raise their glasses back, but it is their choice.
• Any drink counts. Water and soft drinks are fine for a toast. Nobody should feel they have to drink alcohol.
• Pause after the names. Give the room a moment to repeat them back before you sit down.

UK and US etiquette

UK: at a traditional wedding, the father of the bride often toasts the couple, the groom toasts the bridesmaids, and the best man responds and toasts the couple, or reads cards and messages. Many couples now mix this up, so ask which toast is yours.

US: the best man and maid of honor usually both give toasts at the reception, often during or after dinner. A short handover to or from the other speaker keeps things smooth.

Everywhere: if a toastmaster or MC is running the day, they will usually introduce you and may call the toast. Check before the day who calls the toast.

Mistakes to avoid

• Toasting only the groom. Always include his partner.
• Mumbling the names, or getting the partner's name wrong. Practise it.
• A long build-up after you have said "raise your glasses". Once arms are up, finish quickly.
• Forgetting to drink. It sounds obvious, but nerves make people sit straight down.

Need the speech before the toast? Start with how to write a best man speech or our best man speech examples.