How long should a best man speech be?

Why three to five minutes works

A wedding speech is not a set at a comedy club. Guests have been sitting for a while, there may be other speeches either side of yours, and the venue usually has a timetable to keep. Three to five minutes gives you enough time to do the three things a best man speech needs to do: show the room who the groom really is, welcome the couple's life together, and finish with a toast.

Under two minutes tends to feel like you ran out of things to say. Over six minutes, even a good speech starts to feel long, because attention drops and the meal or the dancing is waiting.

How many words is a four minute speech?

Everyone speaks at a different pace, and nerves usually make people faster. These figures assume about 130 words a minute, a relaxed wedding pace. Treat them as approximate, then time yourself out loud: rehearsal decides your real length.

Leave room for laughs and pauses. If the room laughs, wait for it to settle before your next line. That can add half a minute to a speech that ran at four minutes in your kitchen.

How to split your time

Here is a simple shape for a four minute speech:

1. Opening, about 30 seconds. One line to get attention, then who you are and how you know the groom. See our guide to best man speech opening lines.
2. The story, about 2 minutes. One memory that shows something true about him. One good story beats three rushed ones.
3. The couple, about 1 minute. What changed when his partner came along, and what you have noticed about them together.
4. The toast, about 20 seconds. Ask everyone to stand or raise a glass, say both names, and drink. Our best man toast guide has examples.

When to go shorter

• The day is running late and the venue needs to turn the room around.
• There are several speeches before yours.
• Many guests do not share your language, or your humour depends on context they do not have.
• You are very nervous. A tight three minutes you can say well is better than five you have to rush.

When a little longer is fine

• Joint speeches. Two best men often take six to eight minutes between them, if the couple's plan allows, but not double. Our joint best man speech guide covers how to split it.
• Small weddings where almost everyone knows the groom well and the couple have asked for a longer speech.

If in doubt, ask the couple or the venue coordinator how long they have planned for speeches, and stay inside it.

What to cut when it runs long

Most first drafts run long. Cut in this order:

1. The second or third story. Keep the one that says the most about him.
2. Long lists of thank yous. At a traditional UK wedding the groom usually does most of the thanking. Check what he is covering so you do not repeat him.
3. Inside jokes. If a line needs a paragraph of explanation, it probably is not worth the time.
4. Background. Guests do not need the full history of your five-a-side team. Give them only what they need to follow the story.
5. Repeated points. If two lines say the same thing about him, keep the better one.

How to time it properly

1. Print the speech, stand up and read it out loud at the pace you would use in a room. Reading in your head is far quicker than speaking.
2. Record yourself on your phone and note the time.
3. Add around 30 seconds for laughs, pauses and the toast.
4. Do it again a few days later. You will usually speed up as it becomes familiar, so slow down on purpose.

UK and US differences

UK: speeches usually come during or just after the meal. The traditional order is father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man, though many couples change this or add speakers. As the last of the traditional speeches, the best man is often the one the room is waiting for, which is a good reason to keep it tight.

US: the speech is often called the best man toast and is given at the reception, commonly alongside the maid of honor. US toasts often run a little shorter, around two to four minutes. The same structure works either way.