How to write a joint best man speech

First decide: one speech or two?

When there are two best men, there are two common formats:

• One shared speech. You stand up together and pass the speech back and forth. This works best when you know each other well and enjoy a bit of double act.
• Two short speeches, back to back. Each of you takes a share of the agreed slot, often two or three minutes. This suits best men who know the groom from different parts of his life, or who would rather not perform together.

Either way, plan together so you do not tell the same story twice or both thank the same people.

Step 1: pool your stories

Meet up, in person or on a call, and each bring a list of five or six memories about the groom. Put them side by side. You will find overlap. Decide who tells each shared memory, usually whoever was there or tells it better.

Step 2: split by angle

Good ways to divide the material:

• Timeline. One of you covers childhood or school, the other covers adult life and meeting his partner.
• Two sides of him. One shows the chaotic side, the other shows the dependable side.
• Family and friend. A brother brings the family view, a friend brings the outside view.
• Set-up and pay-off. One of you sets up a running joke, the other keeps landing it.

Step 3: agree a running order

Here is an example order for about seven minutes. Scale it to your agreed slot:

Decide in advance who gives the toast. Only one of you should say "please raise your glasses", or it gets messy.

Step 4: write your sections separately

Write your own parts on your own, in your own voice. Two people writing every sentence together tends to produce something that sounds like a committee. Then swap drafts, cut repetition and smooth the joins.

Step 5: write the handovers

Handovers are where joint speeches feel polished or awkward. Script them. Original examples you can adapt:

• "That's the version of events Jake tells. I'll now tell you what actually happened."
• "I've covered the first twenty years. Over to Dan for the bit where he became an adult. It's a shorter section."
• "Before Sam gets too emotional, I'll tell them about the caravan."
• "You've heard the funny side. Here's why we'd both trust him with anything."

Step 6: rehearse together

• Run it at least twice together, standing up, with a timer.
• Practise listening and reacting while the other person speaks. A smile or a raised eyebrow helps the room.
• Agree what happens if one of you loses his place. The other can pick up the next line.
• Each keep a full copy of the cue cards, not just your own lines.

Logistics on the day

• Microphones. Ask the venue whether there is one microphone or two. With one, pass it on the handover line, not in the middle of a sentence.
• Where you stand. Side by side, slightly angled towards each other and the room.
• Glasses. Both of you need a drink to hand for the toast.

What to avoid

• Competing. It is not a contest for the biggest laugh.
• Sentence by sentence ping pong. Swapping every line feels like a sketch. Chunks of about a minute work better.
• Doubling the length. Two best men do not automatically get twice the time. Ask the couple for your slot; six to eight minutes in total is a common example. See how long a best man speech should be.
• Inside jokes between the two of you. The room needs to follow every line.

For opening ideas, see best man speech opening lines, and for the final moment, how to give a best man toast.