What does the best man pay for?

Why it's worth talking about early

Money is a common source of quiet tension in a wedding party. A short, honest chat with the groom early on, about what he expects and what the couple are covering, saves a lot of awkwardness later. Customs differ between families, regions and countries, so ask rather than assume.

What the best man usually pays for

• Getting there. Travel to the wedding and any accommodation, unless the couple have offered to cover it.
• What he wears. Often his own suit or the hire of the agreed outfit. Some couples pay for the wedding party's hire, so check.
• His share of the stag do or bachelor party. Plus, by common custom, a share of the groom's costs, split between everyone going.
• A wedding gift. Some best men give a personal gift to the groom as well. Neither has to be expensive.
• Small on-the-day costs. Taxi money, a spare phone charger, the odd round. Keep a little cash or a card handy.

What the couple usually pay for

• The ceremony, venue, food and drink at the wedding.
• Buttonholes and any accessories they want the wedding party to match.
• Outfit hire, if they've chosen a specific look for everyone. Many couples do, but not all.
• A thank-you gift for the best man and other members of the wedding party.

The stag do or bachelor party

This is usually the biggest cost, and the best man is normally the one collecting money. A few ways to keep it fair:

• Set a budget before booking anything. Ask the group privately what they can afford and plan to the lower end.
• Be clear about the groom's share. Say upfront that everyone is chipping in to cover him, and roughly how much that adds.
• Collect deposits early. It stops one person carrying all the cost for weeks.
• Offer a lower-cost option. Let people join for one day or one evening instead of a whole weekend.
• Keep a simple record. Who's paid what, and what's still owed. A shared note or spreadsheet is enough.

For ideas that don't need a big budget, see our stag do and bachelor party games.

UK and US differences

In both countries the wedding party usually covers its own travel and its share of the stag do or bachelor party, and the couple cover the wedding. Who pays for suits or tuxedos varies a lot from couple to couple on both sides of the Atlantic, so it's always worth asking rather than assuming.

If money is tight

Say so early and privately. Most grooms would far rather know than find out later. Being a great best man is about turning up, keeping things running and saying something kind about him, not spending the most.

For the full list of jobs, see our best man duties checklist.