THE WEDDING DAY
What does the best man do on the wedding day?
THE SHORT ANSWER
On the wedding day the best man gets the groom ready and to the ceremony on time, looks after the rings, stands beside him during the ceremony, helps with guests and photos, gives the speech and toast, and quietly sorts out small problems so the couple never have to. Here is how that usually plays out, hour by hour.
Every wedding runs to its own timetable, so ask the couple for theirs and fit these jobs around it. The times below assume an early afternoon ceremony.
Morning: getting the groom up and ready
- Make sure he is up, has eaten a proper breakfast and has drunk some water.
- Keep the mood relaxed. A walk, a coffee or a round of golf with the groomsmen can help.
- Check his phone is charged, and that he has anything he needs for the honeymoon if he is leaving straight from the reception.
- Pick up buttonholes if that is your job.
About three hours before: getting dressed
- Get dressed together, and leave plenty of time for ties, cufflinks and the inevitable missing sock.
- If you are holding the rings, check them. Know which pocket they are in and keep them there.
- Check your cue cards are in your jacket.
- Pack a small kit: cash, tissues, plasters, a phone charger, safety pins and mints. Medication stays personal, so carry only your own.
About an hour before: arriving at the venue
- Get the groom to the ceremony venue in good time. Arriving 45 minutes to an hour early is common.
- Brief the ushers or groomsmen on seating, orders of service and where guests should go.
- Greet guests, especially family, and introduce yourself to anyone who does not know you.
- Keep the groom away from his phone if it is making him nervous.
The ceremony
- Stand where the officiant and the couple have asked. Traditionally that is beside the groom at the front, on his right in the UK.
- If you have the rings, hand them over when asked. Hold them in a way that will not end with one rolling down the aisle.
- If you have been asked to be a witness, sign the marriage schedule (England, Wales and Scotland) or marriage licence (US) when the officiant asks.
- Look after any personal items the couple have handed you, such as phones or a wallet.
Straight after: photos
- Help the photographer by rounding up family groups from their list. A loud voice and a printed copy of the list help.
- Keep the groom's suit and hair looking presentable.
- Make sure guests know how to get to the reception if it is somewhere else.
Drinks reception or cocktail hour
- Check in with the venue coordinator or toastmaster about timings for the meal and speeches.
- Check where the microphone is, and test it if you can.
- Go easy on the drinks before your speech. Water between rounds helps.
- Keep an eye on the couple. Bring them a drink, rescue them from long conversations, and remind them to eat.
- If something comes up outside what the couple asked you to handle, such as a supplier problem or a payment, take it to them or their coordinator rather than deciding it yourself.
The meal and speeches
- At UK weddings, the best man usually speaks after the father of the bride and the groom. In the US, the best man and maid of honor usually give toasts during or after dinner.
- Give your speech and toast. See how to write a best man speech and how to give a best man toast.
- Read out any cards or messages from absent guests if the couple have asked you to.
- If there is no toastmaster or MC, you may be asked to introduce the other speakers or announce the cake cutting and first dance.
The evening
- Get on the dance floor early. Guests follow the wedding party.
- Look after guests who need it, such as elderly relatives looking for a taxi or a groomsman who started too early.
- Make sure gifts and cards are collected and kept somewhere safe.
- Help with the send-off, and with luggage if the couple are leaving that night.
The things nobody puts on the list
- Be the buffer. If something goes wrong, from a late supplier to a lost buttonhole, sort it without involving the couple where you can.
- Keep the groom fed and watered. Grooms often forget to eat.
- Know the timetable better than anyone. Keep a copy on your phone, and print one.
- Stay sober enough to be useful until your jobs are done.
Your best man wedding day kit
- The rings, if you have been given them
- Your cue cards
- The day's timetable and key phone numbers
- Cash for tips or taxis
- Tissues, plasters, safety pins, and any medication of your own
- Phone charger or power bank
- Mints
For everything from the day you are asked to the day after, see the full best man duties checklist.
Frequently asked questions
What time should the best man arrive on the wedding day?
Whenever the couple or their coordinator ask. That often means being with the groom from the morning and at the ceremony venue well before guests arrive, but follow their plan.
Does the best man hold the rings?
Often, yes. Some couples give them to a ring bearer or keep them themselves, so check who is responsible.
Where does the best man stand during the ceremony?
Wherever the officiant and the couple ask. Traditionally that is beside the groom at the front, on his right in the UK.
When does the best man give his speech?
At UK weddings, usually after the father of the bride and the groom, during or after the meal. In the US, at the reception, often alongside the maid of honor.
What should the best man carry on the day?
The rings if they are yours, cue cards, the timetable, cash, a phone charger and a small kit of tissues, plasters and safety pins, plus any medication of your own.